Fruitcake Conduct Calculator



The Fruitcake Conduct Calculator (FCC for short), is the most important device a member of the Coal Elf Brigade uses each holiday season. The FCC is a handheld processor that utilizes a North Pole patented algorithm to analyze deeds, habits, and activities to gauge the level of naughty behavior in a child. The tabulated information is relayed via the FCC's antenna to the Database Tree Farm, where a final assessment is determined for placement on the Naughty or Nice List.

For those children deemed naughty, the FCC is able to print a ribbon with a message of encouragement for future improved behavior. This ribbon is tied around the lump of coal before placement in the stocking.